I went jogging for the first time in year(s). About a quarter of a mile in, my lungs collapsed. My back began to ache. If you are perhaps contemplating this noblest of exercises, do not start the routine with a cigarette. Do not stay up late and set your alarm clock for the earliest of morns. Do not stuff your mouth with nicotine gum and chew languidly as noxious blood heaves and bubbles into your brain. You might throw up. Or you might not.
And just so you know, in each passing car, they are laughing at you. Hope is a distended thing, raw tar in a verdant bush. But I feel great.