Cleveland, Beyond Chicago

A dozen mosquitoes and one cigarette
Beside a hotel light, we watched the fairies dance,
Disappear

* * *

I’m standing outside, plotting the next step. Sore all over, from sitting in one position too long, from walking all over Chicago, from sleeping on strange mattresses every night. I never knew that a car seat’s microfiber can chafe so bad. We’re at 3000 miles now and it’s funny to think how I had intended to solo this trip, but David has proved to be an excellent travel companion, a great source of conversation to keep the mind active. We’ve crossed huge swathes of land and discovered a thing or two about ourselves. Who would’ve thought.

So last night, we got to a talking about what we’re going to do when we return home in a couple of weeks. I confessed to a mental breakdown; the recent weeks / months / years preceding this trip had been particularly rough, isolating. Hence, the incessant drinking and disappearing acts. It was strange analyzing when that fear crept in, how I had become frightened of living. A person can blame everything but himself.

Long story short, there’s a point where you have to accept responsibility. Something may have happened but your reaction is your own doing just as it is your own triumph. Choices. So. I still don’t know what I will be doing. But there’s a couple weeks left and maybe when I get back, I’ll have a better way of finding out. Here’s to newfound independence and a lighter load. A pleasant night.

* * *

Where we’ve stayed at since last post:

06/11 Denver, Colorado

06/12 Rapid City, South Dakota

06/13 Rochester, Minnesota

06/14 – 06/16 Chicago, Illinois

06/17 Cleveland, Ohio

4 thoughts on “Cleveland, Beyond Chicago

  1. Yes, definitely a life-shaping experience. Traveling makes every day unique and open to impulse. Not as much creative writing going on but trying to remember each moment as it comes. Take care!

  2. Yes, definitely a life-shaping experience. Traveling makes every day unique and open to impulse. Not as much creative writing going on but trying to remember each moment as it comes. Take care!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *